Week 6

12th March
How can you feel so excited and so nervous all at the same time?
I'm trying to find ways in which this pregnancy is different to my last. At least then I can know that it will progress further than it did the first time around.

This article made my worries feel valid, and in a way, it has calmed my mind a little:
https://www.babycenter.com/0_staying-positive-when-youre-pregnant-again-after-a-loss_9181.bc

I'm feeling quite uncomfortable.
I'm wearing smart trousers and a shirt to work but the trousers are really pulling around the waistband.
I don't know if that is because I'm quite bloated or if I am showing earlier because of a previous pregnancy and because my abdominal muscles are quite slack due to having a couple previous surgeries in that area.

I've been advised to just walk at least during the first trimester, but I felt that wouldn't quite be enough. So I have registered for a pregnancy trainer programme by Natalie Hodson: https://pregnancy.nataliehodson.com/pregnancy-trainer-1 with segments for each trimester, including the first few months post birth.
It looks quite coherent and with a lot of information, nutritional details, hints and tips and workouts.
I'm looking forward to reading through that tonight and starting, gently, on my journey from tomorrow!

13th March
I'm already stressing about tomorrow's yoga session at work. What excuse can I use this time?!
Turns out quite a few aren't doing yoga so I just look on trend with not taking part!

I had to let HSE know that I am expecting after I had to wheedle my way out of pushing a trolley and carrying a box at work.
These have done a new display screen equipment assessment to make sure my chair is right for me now. Last time I was given a footrest and I still have this available.
They will also do a risk assessment with the do's and don'ts during this time. It is reassuring that they are being more cautious this time and taking me seriously in the fact that I want to do everything in my power to not have to go through a miscarriage again.

It was a lovely sunny evening so Caz and I went out for a stroll.

14th March
The HSE manager created the risk assessment documents and I am quite surprised how little I can actually do now!
I 'm not allowed in the warehouse, I can be the port of call for couriers and goods inwards but I can't go to reception to collect anything from them but send a colleague for me, I can't do any manual handling or even push the flatbed trolley (apparently I would be exerting 20kg of power just to move an empty trolley), I can't use a barcode printer as it is too loud and risky for me and my baby... Pretty much everything has been covered!

When I got home I dug out an old Xbox 360 game and used the Kinect system! It is called Leela and is by Deepak Chopra. He does a lot of mindfulness stuff and Oprah loves what he does. Well, it gets you doing small movements to coordinate with your various chakras and mini-games to play. It was quite relaxing really in an active mindful movement kind of way.

Caz and I had a bubble bath before bed! So warming and relaxing. I think this will become a regular thing for us now during this pregnancy. My body generally aches and feels so tired so a recuperating bath is more than welcome!

15th March
It has been quite a productive day on the baby Moomin front!
The midwife team phoned me and I have been assigned to a midwife called Brenda. She is currently off and so they are filling her appointment calendar for her return. So I just have to wait until Tuesday morning (5 days from now) to see her and have my booking in appointment. I'm excited but also really nervous. I will tell her how I have been feeling and my worries so hopefully she might be able to quell my thoughts.

I also heard back about a Mindfulness course at Bangor University.
I had been booked on to a previous round of this course but the instructor advised I cancel at the time as this was about a month on from my miscarriage. Apparently, mindfulness can bring up any emotions you have tried to seal away and forget about so can be a very draining process. It can be better to grieve and then begin on a mindfulness course when you are feeling more your 'new you'.
The course starts on the 18th of April. I've let the instructor know I'm pregnant again and she seems happy with this and says we can just modify positions.

I also had a phone call from the renal unit. The transplant nurse wanted to congratulate Caz and me for our news! She also passed on congratulations from my consultant. She would like me to go for blood tests next Wednesday just to check up on everything and make sure my kidney is still okay now I'm in the early throes of pregnancy.

To celebrate everything falling into place we decided to get a Chinese takeaway! Kind prawn skewers in satay sauce, egg fried rice and then tofu and vegetables in a Chinese sauce but I got a side of sweet and sour sauce too for added flavour and oomph. Yum!

16th March
It was a busy but steady day at work. The bonus of having a Chinese takeaway last night was that I had leftovers today! Yum!
I am feeling so exhausted at the moment but I guess growing a baby business is tiring!

17th March
We plan on quite a nice and relaxing weekend.

After popping out to the Farm and Pet place to get Walter some more food we went over to Aldi to look at the specials. When we came out of there big fat flakes of snow were falling down. So we went back home to the warmth!

The snow didn't really come to anything so Caz went out in the garden to dig a trench for hedging to do down. We will be putting native hedging (dog rose, hawthorn, etc.) around the orchard part of the garden. It will add some produce to the garden that I can pick and the wildlife will love it.

I'm starting to really struggle to sleep. I spend all day struggling with feeling like I have zero fuel left in the tank and as soon as I get to bed I am wide awake. So unfair!
So to match up with this inability to sleep, I've decided to read Stephen King's 'Insomnia'. Feels about right!

18th March
Well, we woke up to a slightly wintry wonderland!
Today will mostly consist of sitting by the log burner and chilling out.

I'm really getting into that Stephen King novel. It is interesting how the human psyche can change when one element of life is changed, ie take away the ability to sleep.

We caught up with the Formula E qualifying and race from Uruguay. Quite a good and thrilling race! I'm quite hooked on Formula E now and it at least fills the usually non-motorsport season of Winter.

I think Caz might be having some morning sickness too. He has been complaining of feeling quite sick between meals, just like I  have!
I've also been having headaches thrown into the mix too.
I am starting to wonder if my craving is crunchy food. I have bought mints from the shops to crunch on, have been having ice lollies to crunch, I wanted vegetarian 'chicken' nuggets as they have a crunch coating... What does craving 'crunchy' mean?!

Usually, on a Sunday we would typically have a roast dinner. Not this week. Neither of us fancied that so we had a green vegetable pasta bake. Full of nutrients!