Week 7

19th March
Today, I discovered a pregnancy podcast that will no doubt give a little humour as well as reassurance and information each step along my pregnancy.
Pea in the Podcast
http://www.peainthepodcast.com/
There are podcasts for each week of pregnancy and a whole host of other topics discussed. It is American but the host, Bonnie, is really interesting and there will usually be a midwife or obstetrician involved in the discussions too to clarify information and give advice.

I also let my GP know today that I am expecting.
This sounds ridiculous, but today was the first 'bookable appointment' from when I phoned on the 5th of March.
I didn't know this when I  booked the appointment, but it turns out I would be seeing the Dr who I visited when my miscarriage started. He is a lovely doctor and I really can't fault him, but it did dredge up a lot of memories and feelings to see him again.
He asked how I was feeling now and how he could help. I told him I was expecting and he genuinely looked happy and asked how it was going. Nervously, I stated. That is bound to happen he replied.
It was very reassuring to see Dr Morris. After asking about my symptoms he wanted to double check I didn't have an ectopic pregnancy after I mentioned cramping. So he examined my abdomen but there were no sharp pains and I don't have pain in the tips of my shoulders, which is also a good sign. He thinks I should be fine and I left with a letter of the surgery details to pass to the ultrasound technician when I go for the early pregnancy scan in just over a week's time!

If you need to know more about ectopic pregnancy:
An ectopic pregnancy is when a fertilised egg implants itself outside of the womb, usually in one of the fallopian tubes.

The fallopian tubes are the tubes connecting the ovaries to the womb. If an egg gets stuck in them, it won't develop into a baby and your health may be at risk if the pregnancy continues.

Unfortunately, it's not possible to save the pregnancy. It usually has to be removed using medicine or an operation.

In the UK, around 1 in every 80 to 90 pregnancies is ectopic. This is around 12,000 pregnancies a year.

Symptoms can include a combination of:

• a missed period and other signs of pregnancy 
• tummy pain low down on one side
• vaginal bleeding or a brown watery discharge
• pain in the tip of your shoulder
• discomfort when peeing or pooing

20th March
We went for our first booking in appointment with the midwife this morning!
It was quite a long, laborious process with lots of forms to fill in, family history to note, all past medical issues, social issues, medications and lifestyle questions.

The midwife we saw was called Brenda. She was a very nice, softly spoken lady. I understand our midwife will be Wendy, but she is off at the moment.

My care will be consultant led under the care of the obstetrician with lots of input from the consultant I see at the renal clinic. Apparently, I will also have a referral to the anesthesiology department for some reason?

It all felt quite reassuring and we now have a new version of the handheld notes for this pregnancy.
Lots to read and remind ourselves of but we just have to remember different pregnancy, different baby, different outcome. It will be different this time.

21st March
My day started with going to my local hospital for routine blood tests. These are to check how my kidney transplant is doing now I am pregnant and also to check if my anaemia is going okay.
I recently started a new medication to help my anaemic - Eprex. It is an injection you do into a fatty bit of your body like your stomach or thigh.
So now I'm just waiting on results to see if the dosage needs to be altered.

Ironically, since having my midwife appointment yesterday I feel more anxious than ever. I guess it has brought it all home that this is very real and there is nothing I can do to control what is going on.
All I can do is keep as healthy as possible and do everything that is advised to me by the medical teams.

Little Baby Moomin is so clever in growing and developing. Like their size is pretty much doubling very every week, if not more. Their spinal system has developed, a basic heart is growing and developing the chambers we know. It is so awe-inspiring. But also very scary!

22nd March
Today started like any other day.

I got up, washed my hair, had a light breakfast and went to work.

But then it took a turn. I started bleeding mid-morning and all I could think was please, not again, I can't lose another baby.

I let Sam, my friend and colleague, know what was happening and then it was all stations go!

Before I know it, I was in the passenger seat of Rob's car (he is the HSE manager) with Sam in the back. We were on route to the A&E of my local hospital.

I was seen by a triage nurse within about 45 minutes and she was quite nice and gave me paracetamol for cramping pain. I had to do a urine sample so they could see if that showed any problems and to also check I was still pregnant.

Caz then arrived, who I'd messaged on the way to the hospital, and Sam and Rob left us to it.

I was seen by a doctor next - Dr Hunter. My blood pressure was normal, he felt my stomach and the was no sharp pain and he took the urine sample to be tested by the nurses. He was gentle and kind too.

After another half an hour or so the doctor re-emerged and said my urine sample had done blood in it but was otherwise fine. It showed I was still pregnant but it can take weeks to show a negative so I'm not sure why they tested! He found my blood test results from yesterday and all were good and my kidney seems to like being pregnant - my creatinine, the chemical marker which increases as your kidney starts to struggle, was 141 as opposed to the 160 odd from my last appointment.

Dr Hunter had also been in touch with the gynaecological ward and they would expect me at 13:45 to do a scan and physical examinations to check what was going on.

Caz and I had time to pop home for done lunch. Just buttery toast, which was all we could manage.

I also changed into something more comfortable. Why did I today, of all days, wear heels?! A big snugly jumper was the order of the day too. It was warm I've hospital but I needed comfort.

Back at the hospital, we traipsed upstairs to the ward I had all the tests on after my miscarriage. It all felt ominous but necessary. Dr Mihael and nurse Sophie looked after me. Both really lovely and sympathetic. I was booked in for a scan an hour later. I'd downed a pint of water with my lunch so I was more than ready for a scan.

They first had to give me a physical. Strip from the waist, lie on a bed and they checked me over.

My cervix was still closed. Good sign. There was a bit of old blood, brown discharge in there but nothing fresh. They did swabs to check for infections - the results can take 3 weeks to return.

Scan time.

When you aren't sure if you're losing your baby and you are stuck in a waiting room with 5 other pregnant couples you start to feel envious and struggle to think straight. Caz and I just held hands and waited for our turn.

There were the scan operator and a trainee. I didn't have to strip this time, which was novel, just expose my stomach.

Cold jelly was applied and I let the technician know I had a kidney transplant as she would see an abdominal kidney.

The kidney was found and she remarked she was glad I'd told her as it's not something you see every day and she might think my ovary was just really weird!

She found the gestational pregnancy sac. There was our tiny baby, 6.8mm long. The yolk was visible nourishing baby Moomin. A flicker of a strong heartbeat was found, 169bpm. We have a strong little fighter on our hands.

I think we'll need to find names that mean warrior or survivor. Such a special moment to see baby Moomin. There were a few tears!

Back to the ward and a lady Dr Cooper came to see us. It was all good news with the scan, we are showing to be 6 weeks 2 days, a little less than the 7 weeks 1 day but that could be I ovulated late that month. Either way, there were only good signs for baby Moomin and they were all hoping we'd have a happy outcome.

I was free to go. If I started bleeding again or if I felt more severe cramping I could go back to see them.

Reassured, and knackered, we went back home.

After a paneer korma curry with naan bread and watching police interceptors, I had to call it a night. 

I'll have a quiet day tomorrow and then it's the weekend. I'll no doubt need some naps and early nights to make up for today. But it was all worth it to see that little life on the screen.

This must have been a warning sign. I need to take it easy. No carrying shopping, no standing around baking, no worrying, no exercise but walking. I will do everything in my power to make sure baby Moomin is kept safe and enters this world and our arms.

23rd March
I'm still lightly bleeding, but knowing brown discharge is old blood is slightly more reassuring. Part of me is highly terrified too though. 

When you've been through miscarriage previously you hope next time things will go better. When you have some hiccups along the way you start to wonder if you just aren't made for this and carrying a baby yourself isn't something your body can physically do.

But so far so good. Baby Moomin is hanging on in there. I just need to try and keep calm, relaxed and as positive as possible.

So today it has just been Walter and I chilling and watching Netflix!

I've eaten a mushroom risotto with l which had lots is added green vegetables so I'm bursting with nutrients to nourish baby Moomin.

24th March

Decided to make an Easter wreath. I just wanted something simple as we are British after all and Easter isn't really something we'd traditionally make a wreath for.

I dismantled the Christmas fabric wreath I'd made, which meant undoing what must have been a thousand knots! 

But then I'm left with a perfectly blank canvas of a double wire wreath frame.

I wrapped some pink and white twine around one segment and white a yellow on a smaller bit. 

I'd bought some Easter bonnet kits and so had some cute little chicks, bunnies, sheep, flowers, carrots and sparkly eggs.

I hot glued them to the areas with twine and then it was complete!

The Formula 1 season has officially restarted!

The first session of the season is in Australia.

There are a couple of new faces but on the whole not all that many changes.

McLaren was raving about being greatly improved with having moved away from the Honda engine but seemingly their woes have continued to follow them.

It was good seeing that Ferrari and Red Bull were able to be right up there with Mercedes. Hopefully a good sign for a bit more competitive season.

25th March
Now the wreath is hanging pride of place on the front door!

The F1 race was quite good. A lot of tactics going on and trying to undercut others by pitting early

There was also a virtual safety car which was then updated to an actual safety car. That was how the race was won by Vettel - pitting late and taking advantage of the safety car. That and the fact that Mercedes seem to not be designed to follow traffic and start to overheat meaning they have to back off out of the dirty air.

It should be an interesting season!

We are going away tomorrow for 3 nights. I'm kind of looking forward to it as I feel I need a break, especially with the week I've had. But I'm also hesitant because of the early pregnancy scan we're booked in for.

We have been to the hotel before - Shrigley Hall hotel in the Peak District. They had some winter offer on that included dinner on the first night and afternoon tea another day.

We left packing until almost the last minute as per usual!

Taking a couple of nice dresses (maternity now as most of my dresses are fitted and so I can't squeeze in!) and a swimming costume as there is a spa facility joining on to the hotel in an old church!

We will also miss Walter. But he is well catered for with an automatic feeder bowl and Mr parents have keys to pop in to give him a fuss too.