23rd April
Now I'm feeling stronger and more myself, I'm wanting to get out and about and achieve a little more.
The next time I will be at home this often will be on my maternity leave! I might not have as much free time then! 😉👶
It is not to say that my anxiety has gone, but have now discovered ways in which to control it to allow me not to remain a prisoner to my body and stuck in the house.
The weather isn't perfect, it is cloudy and grey, but it is currently dry.
Once I have finished my three chamomile tea infusion, I will drive out to go for a walk or at least a read in a different location! A change is as good as a rest!
I drove around to Castell Aberlleiniog Castle, on the route from Beaumaris to Penmon.
You park down at a picnic site on the beach and then have a choice of the coastal footpath in either direction or this route towards the castle remains and you can continue on towards Llangoed too.
It is only about 1km to the castle itself.
You walk mainly through woodland, with reasonably hard ground underneath and the occasional boardwalk.
The prince of Gwynedd, Gruffydd ap Cynan, ousted the Normans in 1084 at the battle of Aberlleiniog.
In 1646 the castle remains were refortified and were in the possession of Thomas Cheadle.
During the civil war, the occupants of Aberlleiniog castle sieged Beaumrais castle. It hosted parliamentary forces soon after 1646 before being besieged by royalist forces in the short-lived rebellion of 1648.
What can be seen today, are a square construction with towers in each corner. The walls are reinforced with buttresses.
The castle is perched on a mound of earth surrounded by what would have been a moat.
I left for my acupuncture session with literally only a minute to spare.
Luckily, the acupuncture session was running a little late, and so I had a few minutes to sit in the waiting room for my turn.
I was lead into a different treatment room today. After being asked how I got on after last week's session, she checked what I would like today's session to be focussed on.
I learnt from last time and wore flip-flops instead of trainers and socks. This was much easier to kick off and then get up onto the therapy bed.
After rolling up my trousers and pushing up my jumper sleeves, she started to place needles in me.
This time I had a needle in each foot, one near each knee, two for each wrist, one in the top of my head, one over my 'third eye' (between my eyebrows) and one in my ear.
She put on some music this time and then left me to it.
I started to breathe deeply and felt myself really getting heavy and relaxed.
My left arm twitched. My right leg twitched. I startled myself with the heavy breathing you feel just as you are dropping off to sleep.
Even if the acupuncture doesn't work for me, the relaxation time itself is worth its weight in gold and so I will continue to go.
The treatments were mainly for calming my anxiety in the run-up to my dating scan. That is a mere 3 days away now!
I would like to continue to come, but perhaps more once a month or on a needs must basis.
She sent me off with a 'seed' in my ear, under a plaster in the yellow circled portion of my ear.
It is a small round fragment of tourmaline.
These are the possible health benefits of using tourmaline:
- Helps detoxification
- Supports fat loss
- Reduces water retention
- Improves circulation
- Supports the liver and kidneys
- Promotes a healthy mood
- Helps eliminate toxic metals
- Reduces lactic acids and free fatty acids
If I begin to feel nervous or overwhelmed, I should apply pressure to the seed until the feeling subsides.
I will be pressing the hell out of the seed come Thursday morning! Fingers crossed it works!
I'm still enjoying the free antenatal classes on http://a-mother-place.thinkific.com.
In class 5 it covered pain relief options from the medical forms to natural forms. It included hypnobirthing and even gave a voucher code to get a free download for yourself.
You just had to go here and find the option called "Pregnancy Relaxation Hypnobirthing for a Relaxed Pregnancy MP3".
https://www.natalhypnotherapy.co.uk/shop/Pregnancy-Relaxation-1.html
At the cart, you entered this code and the track was yours for free AMP321RELAX. You just had to go through the usual checkout process (no money was exchanged) and you were then able to download the hypnobirthing session.
I used this hypnobirthing track as my task for the 21-day anxiety challenge - meditate.
It was very relaxing. The woman spoke in a very soft voice and there was tinkly music in the background.
She used a few trigger phrases so you can think of these or repeat them to yourself during the rest of your day and it should induce a deep feeling of relaxation and encourage your body to release any tension and just relax.
The track is safe to use at any stage of pregnancy.
24th April
Only 1 day 22 hours until the dating scan! Nervously excited!
It is raining today, so my plan is to go to an art gallery!
Caz hates art galleries! I think he didn't really have much of an opinion of them until we went to the lake district and every other shop seemed to be a gallery.
There is one in Menai Bridge - Tegfryn gallery.
I'm not especially artistic, I'm crafty. I might not wholly appreciate art but when something is a beautiful painting or sculpture, or at least it speaks to me, then I will respect it and take a fascination with it.
I'm also almost out of milk and need some salad... So I'll have to pop over to Waitrose, the nearest supermarket. I might even sneak in a cupcake as I've really been fancying one for a couple days now!
The gallery was bigger than I'd expected!
There were 7 rooms of paintings and sculptures in total. I commented to the guy how it was perfect weather to visit a gallery.
The paintings were all composed of many different media from oil to wood engraving and pastels to paint on fabric.
One of the artists stood out to me - Richard Barrett.
http://www.richardbarrettartist.co.uk/
His recreation of tidal or mountainous areas with stormy weather or the sunset really captivated me. I think I was especially drawn to these with the use of teal and turquoise colours! I also loved the fact that a lot of the settings were very local and so I could imagine them looking like this.
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| Early Tide, Beaumaris |
The bonuses were there was free parking and I was left to browse without being badgered! I also very much liked the information plaques about the artists, where they grew up, studied and where their interest in art came from and their inspirations. It helped you decipher the paintings a little easier.
One, for example, looked overly simplistic of a jug and bowl of eggs. But on reading the information the artist had taken an interest in Buddhism and so she honed in on what was really important.
Once I felt I was finished at the gallery, I made my way out and toddled on over to Waitrose.
I grabbed some apples, a bag of salad, some Stilton (as I've discovered this is on my allowed list and I miss it greatly), a couple maternity products of bath oil and leg gel and then some fairy cakes to satisfy my cupcake craving!
The task in the 21-day anxiety challenge was to Lookup Hygge and learn more about it.
I actually had a free sample ebook on my phone called 'The Little Book of Hygge, The Danish Way to Live Well' by Meik Wiking.
Hygge is a feeling rather than an explainable situation. It is cosiness, it is a hot chocolate by candlelight, it is being surrounded by family and friends and just feeling content and happy. Hygge is helped by candlelight. According to a statistic in the book, each Dane burns around six kilos of candle wax each year. That is quite insane levels of candle usage! They also don't go in for the scented candles but just straightforward, simple and usually organic candles.
I really want to just snuggle down under a blanket with my Caz and Walter, with a hot cocoa and simply surrounded by candlelight! Maybe this can be a new tradition we start to do once the nights get shorter and Autumn is on its way.
25th April
22 hours until the scan!
We are both really quite nervous now. I keep vividly remembering the appointment when I went to the GP to see if I was having a miscarriage. It is there in my mind like it was only yesterday but in fact, it is 8 months ago now.
It is funny how certain things can trigger memories to be dragged back up again.
I'm hoping that bad memories might, in time, be replaced by good memories. Like perhaps smelling baby oil will just make me think of warm, cuddly, plump, snuggly babies after a bath, seeing them looking up at you and cooing away.
I managed to pull myself together and worked out.
Today I did the FittaMamma first trimester workout in the garden!
The weather was nice, there was a light breeze and shade from the house on the patio where I chose to workout. I opened up the patio door and put my phone through the radio in the open plan area.
It was really nice. I think I'm getting slightly stronger now. Although the barbells are still empty, I didn't start to struggle until the last set.
In the afternoon, I headed over to Llanfairfechan to meet with my parents and go for a short walk.
We parked in the carpark by the beach and then walked around the boating pond and back. Not far, but it is pretty much gale force winds, even though it was quite sunny.
We then went to the Pavillion for coffee.
It is a nice and relaxed, holiday feel in there. They sell ice creams, duck feed for the ducks on the boating lake and have buckets and spades to buy!
We just sat chatting over our coffee, catching up with what each has been doing and what the plans are for the coming days.
My parents and Caz's parents don't know when our dating scan is. They know one is coming up, but we are staying quiet so as not escalate our anxieties even further.
I got home and had a text from Caz that he was only just leaving work, so might be home a little late.
So I decided to get my dinner on the go as I needed to be out of the house again for 6pm to get to my first proper mindfulness class.
I just had a light broccoli and tomato tart with some salad, seeds and a dressing.
Caz arrived home just as I was serving up.
I went armed with a yoga mat, blanket and a bottle of water. I still feel quite nervous about going. I guess it is the realisation that it is something quite big and life-changing for me.
I have struggled on and off with depression and anxiety since I was about 16 or so. I think it was all triggered when I was diagnosed with a heart condition. Before then, I knew I had kidney problems, but they were very stable and never caused me any bother. I just had to go occasionally for checkups once or twice a year.
After you realise that you have yet another health condition to get your head around and nothing is guaranteed in life you lose the plot a bit so to speak. So I started to go off the rails a little. I didn't care about college much anymore and I even got caught shoplifting in a moment of madness (never again).
I was put on anti-depressants but they made my kidney function worsen. After about a week I was taken off the pills again.
I felt I very much needed the help but I was left with no bows in my armoury and had to face this on my own.
I managed to muddle along for many more years and then 5 years ago, I reached a point where everything felt very mortal.
We had just celebrated our 2nd kidney anniversary and the next day I woke up with what felt like someone sitting on my chest.
I didn't leave the house for the best part of a week and Caz eventually took me to the GP and I had a good chat with him.
He recommended talking therapy.
I phoned the renal unit, as I knew there was a clinical psychologist attached to the department and requested I see them.
Months of therapy definitely got me to a point where I realised the tools I needed for this battle were actually inside me. I had them all along and wasn't out in the field with no weapons. I just had to find a way to access them and learn how to use them.
It was suggested I try mindfulness. I bought the books, I tried to do the sessions but I just kept faltering at the same point in the program.
This year I even found an online course with all the material available but still, I stalled at the same point.
That is when I booked on to the mindfulness course.
Today was very interesting. We were in a different room so there were a few new things to get used to.
A couple people had dropped out but there were also a couple of new people too.
Starting in a circle we began with a meditation to focus on our intentions for the session and to fully arrive in the class and leave behind our worries from the day.
It was only a few minutes long but I went from my mind literally swirling around like a spin drier to being able to breathe more calmly and be present in the room.
The meditation was simple but seemed to have a deeper meaning.
You visualised yourself stood by a calm, still lake. You look at your feet and see smooth stones around you. Picking one up you throw it into the water.
As it hits the water, you ask yourself what is your intention and why am I here? I felt acceptance pop up.
As the stone sinks through the water you ask yourself again, what is your intention and why am I here. I started to feel I wanted to find coping strategies to help me deal with my long-term health problems.
Then as the stone settles on the bottom of the lake and gently sinks into the mud where you ask yourself again, what is your intention and why am I here. I realised that I do have a good life, I am strong, I am capable and with Caz by my side, I can do anything. I just want to be able to focus on the little details and realise those are the big things I will remember and that make my life great. It is the little things that make you happy. I want to find gratitude for what I do have and what I can do. I don't need to look at all the what-ifs and but I can't do such-and-such. I do have a rich and full life and it pleases me. I just need to remember that and see the bigger picture sometimes.
The next task was a raisin meditation.
I'd read about this and followed one online, but knew it would be interesting in a group session.
Annee, the tutor, had a bowl of raisins and spooned a couple out to each person.
First, we had to pick just one raisin and then we would follow the process with it.
I picked one, seemingly randomly, and then started looking at it. What colour was it? How were the wrinkles and folds on its skin? You could see where the stem used to be when it was on the vine. It also had a bit of a crusty texture to it with some sugars being released.
Next, we had to feel it. We were rolling it around in our fingers and sensing the texture. It was firm but slowly softening up as it was warming up to the touch and becoming more pliable.
Smelling it was the following step. I didn't think it would smell of much but it did actually smell really quite sweet and perhaps a bit like bara brith.
You had to taunt yourself a little more before eating the raisin. Running it along your lower lip, feeling the texture, noticing if you were getting impatient and wanted to just eat the raisin.
Even once you put it on your tongue you had to wait a moment or two longer before you could eat it! You wanted to feel it with your tongue, roll it around your mouth, maybe slightly squish it with your teeth without breaking the skin.
Finally, you bit into the raisin. It felt sweet and you felt the instant rush of saliva as your body prepared to consume and then digest the small fruit. After chewing it completely you were allowed to swallow it.
Were there any aftertastes and were you surprised with how alive all your senses felt with just a small non-descript raisin?!
With the remaining raisins, you could eat them as you wished.
After talking about our findings and bringing up any thoughts, we took a toilet break and prepared for the body scan meditation.
All the chairs were pushed back, yoga mats rolled out and we lay down with a cushion for our heads in anticipation of the body scan meditation.
Knowing it was going to last around 45 minutes was quite daunting. In all my home practise, I hadn't remained awake once.
The room was quite warm but there was a cool breeze coming in from some of the open windows.
Annee guided us through the meditation from start to finish.
Begining on your left big toe you zone in on the part and notice what you feel. You then move on through your body as instructed to notice your little toe, other toes, the sole of your foot, heel, top of your foot, ankle, calf, knee and thigh. Once you reached here you imagined 'breathing' into your entire left leg.
You then repeated the process on the right side. After moving on to the pelvis, you went along to your hips, your lower back, middle back and going up vertebrae by vertebrae until you reached your shoulders. Then you moved your attention to your front and took in your abdomen, diaphragm, lungs and chest. You could then breathe into your torso section for a few breaths.
Your shoulders, upper arms, forearms, wrists, the palm of your hand, back of your hand and fingers and thumbs were after this. I found breathing into my arms quite difficult, without also taking in my torso.
The neck, throat, back of the head, top of the head, forehead and face were last. Breathing into the head also felt a little weird to me. Perhaps like blowing up a balloon. So I had to visualise the breath swirling around and back out to prevent me imagining expanding my head up to popping point!
You then spent a few breaths filling your whole body with air and releasing it.
We turned on to our sides and then slowly rose to sitting again.
I was so surprised that I hadn't fallen asleep, to my knowledge, and the time had passed so quickly.
I felt very much in a relaxed and easy state. I think it was so surprising because I am so worried about tomorrow and what that will bring. My life will permanently change in one way or another... Time will tell.
We are to practice the body scan meditation 6 more times before we meet again at class next week. We also had to bring awareness to a routine task like brushing your teeth or showering. We have been instructed to have one mindful meal where we sit quietly and bring all our senses to the meal as we did with the raisin. Dinner time is often when Caz and I catch up after a day at work and such. So it will be quite novel to eat mindfully for a change! We will see how the practices go and I'll report back!
26th April
So nervous!
There is nothing I can do to change the outcome of things now so I just have to go through with it and hope for the best.
The only saving grace is that my appointment is before 9am so we can get it over and done with very quickly.
Caz came with me and after we parked up we walked through the hospital to the scanning department.
I told the sonographer that I was very nervous after a miscarriage last year. I took hold of Caz's hand and then she put the gel on me and started.
Within seconds 'here is your healthy baby with a good heartbeat'. The wave of relief was amazing. I didn't know if I would laugh or cry. I think I ended up just grinning ear to ear while watching the screen.
As the baby seemed to be sleeping and lying quite still on their side, the sonographer needed me to try and wake them. I had to lift my hips and wiggle side to side. Sure enough, when she put the probe on my abdomen again there was a wriggly little baby!
She measured the baby from crown to rump to get the length and our updated due date is now the 9th of November. Baby will still potentially be early, but we will cross that bridge when we come to it.
Next, she had to measure the fluid in the skin fold at the back of the neck. This will give us the likelihood of our baby have down syndrome. Along with a few blood tests, it would show how my baby and I are doing.
Apparently, the blood tests could be done in the department. I think I should have been wary at this point as I know I have difficult veins. But still, I went through with Caz to get my bloods done.
They looked at my left arm (my better arm) and then my right, before settling with the left. They only managed to get 2 of the 4 vials filled. They then tried the right arm. Nothing.
Caz had to love and leave me as he was due in work. But he had seen everything he needed to. Our baby was really alive and kicking!
So I gladly went as instructed to the phlebotomy department. They, of course, complained that someone had 'had a go' on my arm already. But within moments it was all complete.
I understand some of the tests have to go off to Cardiff. So it can be around 10 days to a fortnight for the results to come back in.
Back at home, it took a while for everything to sink in. I'm at the end of the first trimester and my baby is doing well so far.
I had a relaxed morning and watched an episode of call the midwife before showering, having lunch and heading out for a little bit.
I ended up in Benlech, just a bit further along the Anglesey coast.
I found a free carpark and went to a lovely little cafe - Bradley's.
After ordering a latte and a slice of banoffee cake, I found a seat. The girl behind the counter brought it all to me. Very yummy! The cake was like a banana bread with a Halen Mon salted caramel buttercream.
Tripadvisor told me that this served the best lattes on Anglesey and also do the best BLT sandwiches. It turns out the bacon is cured by the owner of the cafe from what I could see on the menu. Lots of homemade, homegrown produce. Lovely!
I went for a short walk afterwards, after realising the beach was a long and steep walk away, through the shops. It was cool but sunny so quite enjoyable. I ended up in a charity shop and bought a double aperture photo frame. I thought maybe it would look good with both the scan pictures so far in it.
This afternoon my heartburn has really kicked in. Probably from pigging out on a cake!
I think I'm at a point where I want to move on from the 21-day anxiety challenge now. I have the mindfulness course as my safety net and that will grow me and help my mind more than any little challenge at this point in time.
I did my homework from the mindfulness course - I did the body scan meditation.
It is quite different to the one that the tutor ran through yesterday.
All the audio files for the course are here. This includes many different versions of each meditation and even meditations in Welsh.
https://www.bangor.ac.uk/mindfulness/audio/index.php.en
It is 45 minutes long, which is quite lengthy when you are lying on the floor.
I'm thinking I might have to modify how I lie, especially when I reach the point where it isn't advisable to lie on my back.
I just find my head starts to throb lying on my back. Even lying on my side, without a pillow, makes my head start to pulsate. It is quite uncomfortable.
But I made it through the audio file successfully. I started to drift off a few times, lost interest a little bit and started staring at the ceiling. But on the whole, I felt it went as well as I could have hoped.
Tonight, I will try and modify it slightly. I will try a different position, perhaps seated and propped up by my exercise ball. I will also open the window and put the blanket on me so it is fresh and keeps me awake but I am also a nice enough temperature.
The ending to the meditation track was quite abrupt. In tracks, I've used before they tell you to start picturing your room, move your fingers and toes, stretch a little and then slowly open your eyes. She just ended with "and as we bring this practice to an end, taking care of yourself in this transition from the practice into daily life. Giving time to this transition and allowing your next moments to be infused with the sense of kindly attention and care for yourself." The end. No wake up it is time to carry on with your day. It just finished there. I wondered if this was just a long pause until she said something else or perhaps I dozed off and missed something, so I skipped back a few seconds. Nope, it just ended. Ah well, at least now I know!
27th April
Today, we are going to let our parents know that we went for our dating scan yesterday. They will get a photo too to treasure and keep of their Grandchild!
My Mum doesn't appear to be very well with some sort of stomach bug, so we are leaving until later in the afternoon to see my parents. But hopefully, it might cheer her up at least!
We ended up just relaxing at home, had lunch and then headed out.
First stop, Caz's family.
We just chatted and updated one another on news and it was only when tea and biscuits were brought out that we said we had something for them.
We passed over an envelope with our baby's scan picture in. Tears and smiles obviously ensued!
The funny thing is, that as parents you can just make out exactly every feature of your baby on that scan. To others they are like, what is it, which way is it, is that the head? But you can look at that picture and see nose, mouth, tummy and all the little parts that make them who they are!
Second stop, my family.
My Mum wasn't looking bad for having picked up some stomach bug. She had a biscuit while my Dad offered us some swiss roll and a cup of tea.
After a catch up we brought out an envelope and handed it over. My Dad seemed quite fascinated by the baby, I think in wanting to understand what was what and he just kept looking at it! Quite sweet really!
Caz and I then went out for a meal to celebrate.
We went to Bocca, our local Italian restaurant.
http://www.boccaitalian.co.uk/
https://www.facebook.com/boccaitalian/
We were seated at a little table for 2 near the bar area. We first went to this restaurant last year when we were pregnant. That evening was the happiest I had felt in a long time and the happiness I longed to rediscover.
The atmosphere is really nice with gentle lighting and tea lights on the tables. I can't even really remember if there was music playing, but I do remember feeling relaxed.
We perused the specials board and the menu.
For starters, Caz went for smoked haddock and mozzarella fishcake from the specials board and I had breaded calamari. We actually shared the starters and both were truly tasty. You sometimes associate calamari with being chewy and tough but it was really tender as it must have been fresh. There was a homemade salsa with each and a small side salad. I also had a really yummy dip for my calamari.
The mains we chose were traditional lasagne and Fiorentina pizza - topped with mozzarella, spinach, rocket and an egg.
The pizza was a fresh, hand stretched base and it was just perfect. Really scrumptious, even if I did have to take home about a quarter as I just couldn't finish it!
Caz said his lasagna was really the best he had ever had. Quite a feat!
It was just a perfect day and evening all round!
28th April
I think it is still sinking in for me that I have a little baby growing inside of me and that I have passed that milestone point where we reached last time.
I have also surpassed that first-trimester milestone.
It still partly feels surreal but it is slowly sinking in and I'm feeling happy, a little excited, quite emotional but still a little nervous and concerned for my baby. You just want what is best for them and I dearly hope that I get to meet this little one.
A lot of people, who have never had complications in pregnancy or had the misfortune to experience baby loss, might say that you are out of the danger zone now. But is there truly a safe zone? If I was to go into labour tomorrow, there wouldn't be any saving them. When I reach the third trimester I will feel a little more at ease as at least they are viable then.
It will very much continue as a rollercoaster for the foreseeable future, and maybe beyond.
After I lost Jesse, I spent months worrying that Caz might suddenly die. I felt like nothing was for certain and if I could lose one loved one what would stop everyone I loved from being lost.
I think when you have a baby after a loss you will constantly worry about them. They get a sniffle and you end up down A&E. I think you can see how some children, and adult children, are spoilt and fussed. But it is finding the right balance, to love them fiercely but not spoil them.
As Caz's Mum said, you can't ever give too much love and time but material things you will have to make sure you don't go overboard there.
Caz has gone out to run a few errands this morning - he has gone to pick up his prescription from the pharmacy, the post office to post off some computer parts (one to someone off eBay that he sold to and another to his friend Luke), then he is going to Lidl to pick up groceries and finally he will stop by Pets at Home to try and get some eardrops for Walter as he keeps itching his ears. Bless him!
I've been left at home to relax. But as haven't worked out in a day or two, I got my fitness gear on and went to do a new yoga workout. It was super relaxing and you could feel it working your legs and opening your hips.
Prenatal Yoga Routine: Maternity Circle (all trimesters):
https://youtu.be/hzsVQAIZGsI
I wanted to wear something a little different for this week's photos. It feels like a milestone that we have reached so I wanted it to be special.
I did the body scan meditation in the end. I was seated this time with a window open to keep me fresh and awake. I also wanted to get in the right frame of mind for it and so I lit a couple candles and turned the lights off.
I think I am learning more and doing this as intended now. At first, I was having to picture me touching my toe, almost in a massage-like way. But actually, you only need to notice your toe. Can you feel your sock against it? Are the toes next to it pressing against it? Is your toe hot? Cold? Tingling? Or even conversely if you feel nothing that is exactly how it is meant to be. I was so set that I had to feel something that I went about it a different way. Now I'm just bringing my awareness to it with an open mind and with 'beginners mind' as if this is the first time I've experienced this and it feels so much calmer and less forced.
29th April
What a night...
At 2am Caz woke up to be sick. He was sick on 3 occasions during the night and also had diarrhoea.
He mostly napped on the sofa in the spare room.
I popped in to check on him every hour. But you just can't settle when your other half is missing from the bed. You are just so used to having the background noise of them breathing, snoring, moving and fidgeting. Not having him there is quite disconcerting!
He was sick again at about 8am and then got back into bed.
There isn't much I can do for him. He just needs to get it out of his system. But I could look up a recipe for electrolytes.
There was one called 'The lip twister'.
1/4 cup lemon juice
1/4 cup lime juice
1 teaspoon of salt
1 whole squeezed orange
1 litre of water
So, I've popped that up to him with a pack of Nairn's oatcakes and told him to sip the liquid.
If he still isn't well in a little bit, I'll pop to the shops when they open to get him some proper electrolytes and whatever else might make him better.
It looks such a miserable thing to experience. He is really violently being sick. You just feel helpless and out of control watching your other half suffer.
Today, we should have been going to Chester zoo. It was a trip organised by the Young Adults Renal Support Group. It was wholly funded by the charities connected to the renal units at Ysbyty Gwynedd and Glan Clwyd Hospital.
I am really gutted to not be going, and I know Caz will be disappointed too. But you can't help these things, unfortunately. I couldn't have left him, not with how he is. So, when Caz is better we will have to go for a trip out to the zoo ourselves!
He was quite poorly, bless him! I was bringing him drinks and trying to make little things for him to try and eat.
He managed some yoghurt and granola, had a little fruit pot I picked up in the shops and had beans on toast. He continually nibbled on Nairn's oatcakes too so that will be beneficial to him.
Hopefully, after a sleep, he will be pretty much back to normal!
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