It is known to help clear people's minds and in a way, you symbolically feel like you are running away from your problems. Putting some distance between what happened and where you are going.
I can occasionally suffer from anxiety and have had panic attacks in the past.
One of the symptoms of this is a racing heart, increased rate of breathing and maybe even a tight feeling in your chest.
For me, I find giving my body an actual valid reason for these symptoms can reassure my mind. When my heart starts racing I might go for a run or a brisk walk. My heart rate would naturally increase during this activity and so my mind will take the association with increased heart rate with the activity I did and not just some unseen and unexplainable reason.
It is some you time where what you are doing isn't for anyone else but you. You are exercising your body, focus on what you are doing and not what you are going through.
My first run back out there was a difficult one. I didn't know what to expect. Would I feel pain following the miscarriage? How would my pace be? Do I even care?
I just wanted to be out of the house after being holed up for the best part of a week struggling with my emotions.
My first run back was on the day Caz returned to work. I knew I would break down and struggle if I didn't do something to take my mind off being so alone. I thought that perhaps if I went outside, got a bit of sunshine and fresh air in my systems and felt that the runners high afterwards that it would help me get through the rest of the day.
I survived.
My pace wasn't too awful and it felt good to remind myself what my body can do and that it is strong.
I then thought, what about adding workouts in between my runs.
This was too much too soon.
Take little steps back to recovery. Do not take huge leaps as you will only be left disappointed and frustrated.
I knew I would burn myself out if I carried on like this.
The workouts have been put to the drawing board until I am mastering running for 30 minutes continuously.
I use Runtastic as my training app of choice. I also use good old Strava to record my pace and to interact with like minded people.
On Runtastic there are a number of training plans. I wanted to perhaps try the weight loss one of bikini body prep but that is too advanced for me at this time. I need to start smaller and ease myself back in to running.
I found a beginner training plan to build you up to 30 minutes of continuous running within 6 weeks.
It is based on interval training including short runs and walking breaks. The running intervals become longer as you progress during your 6 weeks of training.
I never make things easy for myself. Before my pregnancy and before all the trauma of miscarriage I had signed myself up to a few virtual runs with Virtual Runner. You can earn medals for completing virtual races.
"A virtual race is a race that can be ran at any location. You can walk, use the treadmill, run outside or participate in another race. You can run your race at your pace anywhere in the world.
Virtual races are a great way to stay fit and active all year round, run for a good cause and get awesome medals for your participation!"
The medal I earned was by completing a 5km run between set dates in aid of Kidney Research UK. 50% of every race fee was donated to Kidney Research UK.
I think it also helps if you try not to take yourself too seriously.
I often buy fun t-shirts and items that make me laugh to keep me going at running.
This t-shirt is one of my favourites:
It is difficult to notice if you are improving. You don't really see the number on the scale change, your body can look exactly the same as it always has... But remember, you are getting stronger, your stamina is improving and even if you aren't shaving time off every run you are making your body healthier.
My pace has gone from 8:58/km, 8:36/km, 8:52k/km and 8:51/km.
There are good days and indifferent days. Just like how your moods fluctuate, your body can also feel spot on or just plain tired and heavy.
I do worry that people will find seeing me running as something amusing. I get red in the face, my breathing rate increases and I am often found walking. But I remind myself that perhaps it will be inspiring to that one person out of all of these that I perceive to be laughing at me. I remind myself that I am improving my health and at least I am not just sat at home on the couch. I am doing what some other individuals can't. That in itself is a privilege for which I am grateful.
I haven't registered for any more races, yet. I am thinking of creating smaller goals for myself to keep going at this as it is good for me.
Perhaps trying to go out running more times a week, even if that means doing shorter distances. Perhaps I could try to just improve my times on the local Strava segments! Or maybe I could try and do a PB for a mile or kilometre or start improving on my pace and mileage each month.
It could even be to capture pictures for each letter of the alphabet while I'm out and about during a set time. Picture an apple one run and a bunny another...
The options are endless. But I do know I enjoy being out there.
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