Pregnant Lady

I visited my GP on the same day I had my second positive pregnancy test. He referred me to the obstetrician and said I'd receive a letter in the post.

At 8 weeks I had my first obs/gynae appointment. Unfortunately, they weren't able to do much for me as I didn't have handheld notes and hadn't yet seen my community midwife. It turns out the GP jumped the gun and missed a step in the process.

I was surprised by my changing shape. By 5 weeks I was so bloated! I was already unable to do up my jeans and had to wear leggings all the time! I felt in the fat stage of pregnancy. Not quite a baby bump but more than having eaten too much!
Below are the pictures we took every Sunday to try and show the changes in my body. I'm not sure there is much change, but here are the pics anyway!

4 weeks

5 weeks

6 weeks

7 weeks

8 weeks (night away!)

10 weeks (missed a picture)

11 weeks

 

I loved that my boobs were increasing a bit too. I'd always been pretty flat chested before so this would be novel!

Almost a fortnight later I finally met my midwife. She was friendly and nice but maybe not the most useful to me. With my health conditions, she really didn't know how to advise me or answer any of my questions. But she gave me my handheld notes and lots of other information including a big easy to digest guide on the bump to baby.
We were informed that due to my health that I'd be classed as high risk. I would have my care led by the obstetrician due to the complexities.
I was also put on a low dose aspirin due to being at a higher risk of preeclampsia.

I cut out all caffeine as although you can have a couple cups of tea or a filter coffee a day, I didn't want to risk it.
I was trying to keep active and had downloaded an app called prenatal which gave you suitable exercises, in an interval training format, for each trimester of pregnancy.
I had also downloaded an app Glow Nurture which tracked your pregnancy and gave you useful information and articles each day. It was fascinating watching the baby change. From a poppy seed to a jelly bean and through to a lime!
I didn't have morning sickness. I know this is considered lucky but I would have given anything to know 100% that my pregnancy was really happening. I had to keep reminding myself that I'd had a positive pregnancy test and hadn't had a period since May and so was still actually pregnant.
I didn't have any cravings either. I just wanted to eat fruit, veg, wholemeal and dairy products all the time. At least they were healthy!

We bought a few little vests, baby grows and sleep suits for baby. 

My Mum went crazy and bought so many things! Bath toys, bibs, dribble bibs, clothes - my parents even dug out my old crockery and books from when I was a baby! They were definitely excited at the prospect of becoming Grandparents. They'd already decided they wanted to be called Grandpa and Nana.!

We had expected to have had an early scan to check everything was okay, what with me being high risk. But I had to chase to even get my 12 dating scan done. By the time it was arranged, I would be 13 weeks.

All the chasing of medical professionals, chasing for scans and such made me feel so stressed. I worried about worrying pretty much incase it would have a detrimental effect on our baby. I knew they could pick up on emotions and wanted to do everything I could to just relax.

Caz surprised me with dinner out at a local Italian restaurant. It was so unexpected and such a sweet thing to do.

We started to slowly sort out the spare bedroom. It was basically the dumping ground for boxes and bags of things that didn't have homes. 

After going through the boxes we worked out what we wanted to keep, where things could now live. Plus we found lots of pieces that were ready for the tip or to be taken to the charity shop.
As always with tidying, it got worse before it got better!

We heard from one of our sets of good friends, Rob and Eileen (and their 2 years 9-month-old daughter, Cadi) that they were visiting from Berlin. But due to a double booking, they wouldn't be able to stay with Rob's parents and so they asked if they could stay with us. Luckily we had cleared the spare room so just had to make it a little more homely for their stay.

Pressures were also piling on at work. I'd applied for an internal vacancy and for the interview I had to prepare a 10-minute presentation. Not the easiest of tasks when you have baby brain kicking in.
We also knew I'd need backup at work with going on maternity in a matter of months and so they hired in a temp that I needed to train. It was a very difficult and thankless task that added to my stresses.
I was starting to struggle to get up and feel motivated. I kept just saying "I can't" in relation to going to work and doing my job.
On one occasion, Caz was off for the day and realised I'd forgotten to take in the biscuits I'd baked for work for a bake off competition. My head was so full of thoughts and worries that I was too distracted to notice I'd forgotten the biscuits. 

Caz popped them over to work and I ended up sat in his car bawling my eyes out. I was literally having a panic attack about being at work. I managed to go back in, but hated every minute of it and couldn't wait to return to my safe haven at home.

I decided something needed to change and I planned to visit the GP on Monday about struggling with depression and anxiety. I'd been blighted by anxiety in the past and had seen a psychologist, so I knew talking would help. Whether the doctor felt it was best I had some talking therapy, medications or even being signed off from work for a short period, whatever he felt was needed I would do.
I'd also taken matters into my own hands and signed up for a mindfulness course at my local university, but that doesn't start until September. I had previously bought a mindfulness book, ba8-week an 8 week course, but had struggled to get past week 4. I knew I needed a little extra guidance and motivation.

I want to sort my head out once and for all, for my baby's sake.